Stolen

You've stolen my heart
i wish i could have given it away
But you just took it so easily
you just couldn't wait.

And i Love this feeling,
Falling for you
being with you
No longer naive
Just knowing, and rightfully so
Where my heart is meant to go,
because it wasn't my choice.
You stole it away.

Now every day i'm stuck needing you here,
an emptiness in my heart
that makes it feel so much more filled when i'm with you.
And, i've just fallen so hard, so fast,
i Really cant stop smiling when i know you aren't far.
Everything bad in my life just melts away from me.

Ashley Baby, you make me feel like i'm alive
All because you've stolen my heart away.
Never give it back.
I'm much happier with yours than my own :]

New Beginning

Bohemian Rhapsody by the fire as we watch glowsticks melt and sparks raise so beautifully into the sky. Most of the people there i barely knew.. but it never really mattered. I had an amazing night yesterday, and i plan on working my way into the Dick Club.. SOME DAY! The girls got bigger trees than us guys.. but then again.. they cheated of course :P And then taking the bus in circles because the metrobus driver was a dumb-ass and told us the wrong bus to transfer to. Watching the ocean lap up the sand into its massive gullet, forever hungering for the sweet embrace of earthy flesh as the stars stare down fondly upon many happy fools toying around a campfire as Evan looks girly with his hoodie, and with the fact of him holding our stuff as we carried the wood to the beach hovering over his head. But this.. This is happiness.. doing nothing special with a good bunch of people, just being contented.. thats all you ever need. All you need is to be content.. you Need friends.. you need people who will be there, who want to be there, and try to be there.
If soembody else has to feel bad a week or two so you can not be miserable for a long time. Then its worth it :)

Just one week?

just one week, just one week, just one week.
its what my brain keeps telling me.
It'll make things better, you'll be happier, she'll be more sure, you'll both be together more.
its what i've been trying to think.
But all i hear is by heart beating an unusual tune of
What went wrong, i thought it was better, tuesday was great, everything was resolved, you could look at jason without feeling weird, you could love her just as you wanted to, alone time wasn't even needed, just.. time.
I just keep thinking something must have gone wrong, what did i do wrong, how did i prove its not being fixed.. because if i did, i'm sure it was accidental, i'm sure it wasn't the truth. Or maybe tuesday was only good for me? Maybe she was still worried, maybe i did something strange, maybe i just set her to thinking that things were getting worse. I keep thinking that, shes assured me that no, its because of past problems.. i hate that response, i really do.. cause those were problems i was so sure were fixed. With them off my back i was happier, i felt lighter. I Loved wholer. And with a smile on my face i walked to the corner of the lunchroom to be told of the flasehood in my thoughts, the idiocy in my beliefs. And then i was told, it'll help.. told to believe it, told it was needed. Why am i such a fool that i never knew? Why do i still think things were fine, Why cant i know that this is the right thing? Maybe its not.. Maybe shes just overreacting because of worry, worry it'll start up again.. that is possible, its something i'd do.. maybe not to this extent, but it mirrors such paranoias that i can understand. So for whatever reasons she needs the time specifically she can have it. I want things to be better with her, i want her to be clear in her mind about us. I want to prove myself, i want her to know i can Love her one way or another.
But i wont go near another girl, it cant happen, she told me to, told me it was something i should do.. but its something i cant, something i have no desire to do, in fact only distaste in the idea of doing so.
I wish she could feel the way i did about tuesday, the day i believed things had gotten better.. But i must be wrong, they got worse, and it was my fault.. i cant see it any other way. Who else could it have been? i'm just useless, i'm untrustworthy, i shouldn't even exist.. and i'm too much of a coward to fix taht error.. oh well.. i just wish i could be as happy as i was wednesday morning..

The Cleansing Fire

Breathing fire
upon the world.
Bending pages, rending lives,
tearing souls from their resting places.
Breathing Fire.

Playing with Fire,
a dangerous decent into a kingdom of unhappiness.
A place where you lose yourself
and everything you thought you cared about
But you never did, because if you did, you really wouldn't be
Playing with Fire.

Engulfed in Flame,
a game you never chose to enter,
one to which you were never invited,
But you're there, forever.
In this Neverending game
Endlessly,
Engulfed in Flame.

Bleeding fire,
it runs in your veins, resembles your hair
its just always there.
You Bleed it, you seethe it,
it follows you wherever you run.
It taunts you, in its darkest form it flaunts to you
the most orange of flames reminiscent in every vision of yourself.
No matter what you do you're very image will forever be,
Bleeding Fire.

Cleansing fire,
its supposed to cure all that ails you
but instead it simply fails too.
Like all other things it just makes you feel darker
weak, limp, afraid..
The Fire is forever you're greatest fear,
because it reminds you of all you wish was not there,
the world that hides behind the veil you keep so tightly drawn about yourself
and the world that hides so neatly behind the veil sealed forever by one final power,
The Cleansing Fire.

God doesn't hide behind the heavens, if he exists at all he is with us
he is not quiet, he is not simple, he is not merciful
he is taut, and strict, he is justice,
he is Fire. He is Death. He is Life, He is resurrection. The beginning, the end.
But he is not I, he is not the living, nor is he the dead,
he simply watches, waits and eventually.. claims us.
He is the in-between, the one who seeks and finds, but never lives and never dies,
He is;
Cleansing Fire, Bleeding Fire, Engulfed in Flame, he plays with fire and Breathes Fire upon us.

And we are the ashes and the timber,
we await his touch, as logs awaiting the caressing flame of a fireplace
and once he finds us, we fall apart, we cripple, we end..
We are Ashes, we are what he has touched.. if he exists at all..
and i think he does.. just not as you hope he would be.

As Long as you Love

I am A Frog, far from a prince
but your kiss makes me believe otherwise
you bring my heart beating in a distinguished disguise.

I am A Frog, nowhere near a lord
But your love makes me think in other ways
bringing my smile stretching for many coming days.

I am a frog, and you are the princess
your infatuation a pure confusion to me
But i'll never leave you, though thou dost be a fool
to believe that i could be more than a fly catching tool.

As long as you Love, i will feel like a prince
able to rise forth on every coming sunrise
smiling sweetly in my regal guise.

As long as you love, i will rise as a lord
a heart as strong and courageous as a lions roar
a Life much greater than ever Before.
----------------------------------------------------
i Love You :)

Because i can

Tired of happiness he creates a tear
a violent rending of his gleeful dimension
a reason to cry created from nothing
but empty air in an empty sky.
Why be depressed in a world so inclined to you
so interested in what you do
so happy to see you smile
so dedicated for such a long while.
Why be sad, we all ask to the man who wants no more to grin
"Because i can" he answers with a voice thick with sin.

World of danger

Gunpowder weighs down my pockets
and secrets weigh down my heart
life deals me only dangerous holdings
waiting until the war would start.

Gunpowder pouring from every orifice
hoping that a match soon will be lit
an explosion booming deep and thick
its effect digging life's deepest pit.

Why do wars rage so effervescent
when peace is what people say they want
why does fire burn so deeply
when we hope for life to be more than gaunt.

Why do we hope for it all to end
while we hold rifles so steadily in hand
why do we not just cease to go
instead of allowing the death toll to overflow.

The fight for peace is to sacrifice your dignity
lose you're life and your sanctity
throw away every scrap of decency
and forget forever any chance of prosperity.

What is Peace achieved by death?
It is war.. and it causes nothing
But the constant need for more
More of its search for something, that is simply nothing, but a false sense of security in a world of danger

Scallops

i Danced in fields of garlic flower
Followed in paths where mushrooms did tower
Pranced in worlds where the giants were minuscule
their reason for life nothing but a puddle of leprechaun drool.

i've lived in the hills of strawberry pudding
Thought on ideals so mountainous they could mean everything.. but nothing.
i've wanted a life, sour as a lemons peel
But found myself lost amongst such idiocy.. such zeal.

When lost, no person or friend to lean on
Nowhere to turn, not in any eon.
Long gone is my shrimp, the one who fed me through this time with garlic and onions..
though, from others, i hear scallops give quite a scrumptious opinion

Secret Light

Bleeding moonlight, seeping deep
dripping quietly from nighttime pores as we sleep
A thousand rays of unnamed light
Fall when our eyes cannot hold sight.
But when we wake our rest is done
the light, still hidden, is finally gone.

Teasing and taunting us while we cannot know
as we wonder hopelessly how it would show
how it would shine its vision to our eyes,
beckoning with a glorious surprise.

How can we even know it exists?
A secret light, draped heavily in mists.
How could we even trust the ideas its brought?
When for it so many wars have been fought.

Simple fact, it isn't there
its a lie to bring our existence a fear.
Not all will renounce the non-existent light,
for to do so would cause the dependent mind a fright,
an agony unheard of rational minds
to take away such belief would far from be kind.

Let sleep exist for those who believe
those who in that darkness weave
the tales so fabled and yet untrue
what pain could it bring to you?

The Lump in my throat

A lump in my throat, lays there for you
i wish i could be there, calm your sadness, still your tears
Put back the pieces with superglue
Push back all of your fears.

A Lump in my throat, cuz things haven't been right
You deserve a lot more than this, than the cards you've been dealt
i wish i could stand by you in your battles, help you fight
so i could just know that my efforts have helped

Just a tiny bit..

The Lump in my throat is foreign to me
usually i'd just sit here and cry
i wish i could comfort you, somehow.. maybe?
But instead i have to sit here, on the other side of the world,
as you die on the inside.
--------------------------
To Bekki